Happiness activity No. 10 | Workshop Life Energy

Happiness Activity No. 10: Committing to Your Goals

No matter what our levels of happiness and fulfillment, all of us have some kinds of goals. Furthermore, our goals vary from one person to another and across time. Why is it beneficial?

Goal pursuit provides us a sense of purpose and a feeling of control over our lives; having meaningful goals bolsters our self-esteem, stimulating us to feel confident and efficacious; pursuing goals adds structure and meaning to our daily lives; it helps us learn to master our use of time; commitment to goals during the times of crises may help us cope better with problems, etc.

Learn more here.

Exercise

MY MOST IMPORTANT GOALS

Before you do the exercise, please check the different types of goals.

INTRINSIC GOALS you pursue because they are inherently satisfying and meaningful to you, which allow you to grow as a person, to develop emotional maturity, and to contribute to your community.

EXTRINSIC GOALS reflect more what other people approve or desire for you—for example, working hard to obtain a reward (e.g., wealth or social approval) or to avoid a punishment (e.g., shame or loss of income).

Personal goals that we intrinsically value directly satisfy our most basic psychological needs in life. Does this mean that extrinsic goals are always bad? Not necessarily. Sometimes we pursue extrinsic goals (like material wealth) in order to obtain the resources and opportunities that will allow us to pursue our cherished dreams or intrinsic goals.

AUTHENTIC GOALS. Do you value and truly “own” your goals, or are they really the goals favored by your parents, spouse, or neighbors?

APPROACH GOALS – lead you to a desirable outcome, e.g. to be a fit and healthful eater opposite to an avoidance goal, e.g., not to be fat.

HARMONIOUS GOALS - your goals should complement one another.

FLEXIBLE AND APPROPRIATE GOALS - the “right tasks at the right time.”

ACTIVITY GOALS - the process of pursuing “activity” goals (e.g., joining a wilderness club, volunteering at a blood drive, learning about art) allows a person continually to experience new challenges, take on new opportunities, and meet a variety of experiences.

INSTRUCTIONS: Please think about the goals that are currently important to you or have been important in your life recently. “Goals” include intentions, wishes, desires, and motives. List at least one (1) and up to eight (8) of your most significant and meaningful goals below.

Now, for each of the goals that you wrote down, check off which attributes listed in the left-hand column characterize it and which attributes on the right.

Date…

If any of the descriptors on the right apply to your goals, you may need to reconsider them: modify them, perhaps, or grant them lower priority. For example, if you discover that your goals at work are generally extrinsically motivated and inauthentic, contemplate how you might change your perspective.

What if you don’t have a list of goals to consider, let alone to reconsider in the previous exercise? Don’t despair; there are a number of exercises that can help you discover the goals that are most meaningful for you.

Exercise 1

The first is to contemplate and describe in writing the personal legacy that you would like to leave after you die. For example, you might imagine how you would want to be remembered by your grandchildren or great-grandchildren. Write a summary of your life, your values, and your accomplishments as you would like them known to your descendants in the format of a first-person letter or even an obituary.

Exercise 2

Write down what kinds of lives you would want your children (or future children) to lead as adults: what kinds of people you wish them to become, which values to hold, which goals to attain. Keep working on your summary, adding and subtracting, until you are satisfied with it. This process will prompt you to reexamine your life and priorities and help you gain clarity on what you consider most important. In this way, your goals will naturally be revealed to you. Reread the summary on a regular basis, and remind yourself what really matters.

Exercise: BABY STEPS: BREAK DOWN YOUR GOALS

Step 1: Generate a list of personal aspirations, intentions, and projects (e.g., to socialize more, to raise a pet, etc.), and brought up any irrational beliefs about these goals (e.g., “My friends don’t like me around anymore” or “I could never afford a pet”)

Step 2: Identify your highest-priority goals and contemplate them at some length. How much effort will this require? What kinds of resources do you need? How much would you enjoy them?

Step 3: Select a single goal, describe it in concrete terms, and personally commit yourself to it. You could consider writing your goal down in a journal, posting it in a visible place, or announcing it to your family or circle of friends.

Step 4: Develop implementation intentions—where, when, and how actions would be taken. A critical element here is to anticipate obstacles (e.g., boredom, lack of time, frustration, family disapproval) and to think of strategies to manage them.

Step 5: Carry out your plans, persisting through challenges and difficulties, with the group’s emotional support. Indeed, at times it’s necessary to revise or change your chosen goal and even to question its priority.