Happiness Activity No. 5: Nurturing Social Relationships

 

Happy people are exceptionally good at their friendships, families, and intimate relationships.

Good social relationships serve many vital needs. One of the most important functions of a social bond is the provision of social support in times of stress, distress, and trauma. Love with its ups and downs is considered as one of the core things that make us happy. We rapidly adapt to any circumstantial life change (wealth, age, job title, residence, life events, etc.) but our desires for happy marriages, and for children do not change as we successfully attain those things. But in order to be successful you need to make efforts – find time, talk with your partner or friend, express admiration, appreciation, and affection; share your successes and celebrate the achievements of your partner or friend or family member; manage conflicts, be supportive and loyal.   

Learn more here.

 

 

 

 

Exercise (for people who are in relationship)  

 

Here’s a sample four-week plan.

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During Week 1, you could write a list of attributes that initially attracted you to your partner or that you appreciate right now, and for each characteristic you generate (be it honesty, sense of humor, intelligence, punctuality, or charm), come up with at least one episode that illustrates it well.

During Week 2, try to remember and write about a good time in your marriage/ partnership: when you first met or fell in love; when your partner showed support; when you successfully endured a difficult time together.

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The flip side of this exercise—try this in Week 3—is to consider a recent or memorable thing your partner did that angered or disappointed you. Then (and this is hard) write down two or three charitable explanations for his or her behavior—that is, explanations that attribute the behavior to forces other than your partner’s bad character or motives (e.g., stress, misunderstanding, well-meaning intentions, etc.).

A final exercise, for Week 4, is to sit down and write about particular goals, values, or beliefs that you and your partner share.

 

Exercise:

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Starting today, resolve to respond “actively and constructively”, which means with interest and enthusiasm - to your friend’s or loved one’s good news, however small. If your partner is excited to tell you something, pay close attention, ask lots of questions, and relive the experience with her/him. If you’re happy for her/him, express it, and, if appropriate, insist on celebrating and tell others about it.

 

Exercise

 

A deep sense of shared rituals, dreams, and goals underlies thriving relationships.

 

Every week try to do at least one thing that supports your partner’s roles (e.g., as parent, jogger, manager, chef) and dreams (to travel abroad, to climb the corporate ladder, to go back to school, and so on). The goal should be to honor and respect each other and each other’s life dreams and interests, even if you don’t share them all.